It’s film season, and there is no better way to celebrate than by listing both the best and worst sex scenes of television and cinema. The movies and shows that made this list are memorable, humorous, and sometimes embarrassing in nature, but that’s what made them all great, even if they were terrible. I’ve also accidentally concocted an extremely diverse list (displaying the inclusivity of sex) including gay, polygamous, adulterous, and non-human scenes.
Brokeback Mountain – Good
This movie still gets some moans and groans, but Jake Gyllenhaal and Heath Ledger flawlessly portrayed the passion, and the got-to-have-it-now attitude. Since neither of the actors are actually gay, it made this scene all the more impressive.
Savages – Good
Everybody loves a good on-screen threesome, especially when it involves Blake Lively, Taylor Kitsch, and Aaron Johnson. There were no bad sex scenes in this movie, just confusing ones (especially at the beginning when she’s having sex with two different guys and you’re not sure why). Lively also remained completely clothed in her bathtub sex scene, keepin’ it classy.
Titanic – Good
The cheesiest ever line, “Touch me, Jack,” still doesn’t ruin this steamy adulterous car-sex-in-a-boat scene. And really, that car probably has more space than any car today has to offer.
Black Swan – Good
Natalie Portman gives up her goody-two-shoes persona for this raunchy “dreamed” sex scene with Mila Kunis. I was completely surprised when I saw this in the movie, but I love that they included it.
True Blood – Good
Everyone who knows True Blood, knows that there isn’t one particular sex scene that should be noted over the others. There are at least ten sex scenes in every episode, so it seems. However, all the scenes are always steamy, especially when the vamps are moving so fast they just look like a blur onscreen.
Girls – Not so good
I love Lena Dunham and her super awkward sex scenes (Remember when Adam wanted her to be an 11 year old with a lunchbox?). Her show Girls is perhaps one of the closest shows to real life I’ve ever seen, which is probably why I feel embarrassed watching her have sex. I feel like a Peeping Tom.
Young People Fucking – Not so good
In this flick, Andrew (Josh Dean) and Abby (Kristin Booth) have a boring sex life that leads them to try strap-on sex. While it was consensual at first, Booth takes it a little too far in an effort to “get-off”, and Dean’s character ends up feeling a little bit defiled.
Michael Cera – Not so good
I know, he’s not a movie, but he is the source for many awkward sex scenes…actually, every Michael Cera sex scene is bad. From Juno to Youth in Revolt, where he loses his virginity in women’s clothing, it’s all bad. He has lost his virginity in almost every movie I’ve seen him in; you’d think he’d have it down by now.